The electronic buzzer sounded, announcing my arrival. Time to rain judgement on the wicked! AUTOSAVE. The doors opened up slowly, dual-baretta ready, I dashed out into a large room, an antechamber of sorts. Five henchmen stood at the other end, the shock on their faces tells me I wasn't expected. They fumbled for their firearms but I was faster. I fired snap shots from my dual baretta as I ran for the pillar. A few of the 9mm rounds hit home. One down. Four to go. By now, they've gotten ready and probably positioned themselves strategically behind those conveniently-placed crates for cover. I risked a peep. Shots were fired, a hail of bullets stormed in my direction. I hurriedly ducked back behind cover. Bullets ricocheted off the walls behind me. The pillar in front shook with a ground-shaking force. Dust kicked up from the broken walls like a mini sandstorm. I mustn't wait here too long.
Risking it like a man with nothing to lose (which, indeed happens to be the case) I jumped out of cover and shoot-dodged to the side. BULLET-TIME. All of a sudden, I've become aware of my very own heartbeat. It was as though someone's pumped up the volume and now my heart is pumping from my ears. As I float across the room in midair, I fired a few more rounds into one of the henchmen holding a pump-action shotgun. The bullets connected with his torso, a burst of red mist escaped from his back. He flopped lifelessly (as would Ragdoll Physics TM allow) unto the ground, three more to go. I tried to shift my aim to the other henchman, the bald one holding an Uzi, but I lost my line of sight as I landed on the ground behind another one of those conveniently-laid crates. SAVE GAME.
A burst of semi-automatic fire whizzed past me, missing me by just a finger-breadth. I popped out of cover to return the favour, but my shots never met a target. He's ducked behind cover. There was confetti all over the room now, adding to the mini sand storm. In the heat of the chaos, I failed to notice that one of them had moved behind one of the lateral pillars just outside my temporal field of vision, as I focussed anteriorly. I also failed to notice as he fired a snapshot at me from the side. It tore across my left shoulder, lacerated my deltoid. The sheer pain was overwhelming. I fell to the ground, clutching the open wound with my other hand, the baretta now covered in slick red blood. I lost 25% health. How annoying. LOAD GAME.
I find myself once again ducked behind the crate. Only this time, I knew that a genius has sneaked to the pillar on my left. I trained my pistol at the pillar, trigger finger waiting for a head to pop out from the corner. Mr.Genius stuck his head out as expected. I fired. The bullet travelled straight to his forehead, and exited through his ociput. A satisfying head shot. Two left; One bald guy with an Uzi, and one with a desert eagle. Shots were still being fired at phantom targets, creating bullet marks along the paperwalls. Smoke filled the room, and with it, the rusted stench of burnt iron casings. I waited for the firing to die down. SAVE GAME.
Finally, it came: The unmistakable pause. The clang of empty shell casings hitting the floor as the weapons got reloaded. This is my chance! I stood up and emptied my remaining rounds into the bald guy's chest, and ran for cover behind another crate. The pump-action shotgun from one of the guys I killed earlier laid on the ground beside me. Grinning to myself uncontrollably, I tossed my empty weapon away and picked up the shotgun. Time to eat lead, people!!! SAVE GAME. I got out from behind the crate and scanned the area for the last remaining target. The room was now in a mess. Smashed-up crates, most of them reduced to splinters, littered the floor. There weren't many places left to hide. Especially not from the hungry shotgun, now sitting comfortably in my hands. And yet, the last remaining foe managed to escape me. Where could he be?
Like a bad joke, the answer to my question came at me in a form of a desert eagle pressed to my cheek. I didn't have time to respond as he squeezed the trigger. There was a thermonuclear blast of pain as I feel my head literally explode. My vision turned red as my headless body, driven by the inertia, spun around three-sixty degrees before it too, flopped to the ground. Next thing I know, I was looking at myself, in third-person perspective. A limp, dead body, like a ragdoll, lying in a pool of blood. Heck. Death is a minor inconvenience for a hero! LOAD GAME!!!
Once again, shotgun in hand, and more resolute than ever. I got up and headed straight for the broken pillar by the huge door. The last henchman was ducking behind the pillar, clutching his desert eagle like a woman's handbag. He obviously wasn't expecting me to walk right into his hiding place. With one buck shot, I passed swift judgement on the criminal. I headed into the next room, where I found Kingpin covering in fear behind an antique table. He begged me for mercy, and I complied by sending him to meet his Maker with my shotgun. Such is the Emperor's mercy! :)
Looking out the window from the now dead druglord's office, I thought to myself "Man, what would I do without a SAVE/LOAD GAME feature?"
***
But seriously, I wish I had the SAVE/LOAD GAME feature in real life. This would be a good time to... LOAD GAME!!
